Communication concerns

Navigating the relationship roadmap can be tough. Too good to leave, too bad to stay. Recommit or quit. Poor communication is the number one predictor of relationship breakdown. The remaining 4 predictors include sex, money, parenting and communication concerns. What is happening in your relationship? Navigating these challenges requires superior communication skills and goodwill. Acknowledging the challenges and seeking tools for talking, listening and fair fighting will see the relationship strengthen. However if you are dirty fighting or ignoring the issues feelings of anger, sadness, hopelessness, and fear can grow. Over time these negative emotions will dominate your relationship and lead to breakdown. Don’t want a divorce? Don’t want things to continue as they are? Make an appointment to talk to a relationship therapist today or take our intensive relationship recharge program.

Financial fights

In your relationship is there a spendaholic and a scrooge? Do you have different goals with regards to renting or buying a home? What about having a baby – can we afford it? Are you in control of your credit card debt? Do you ‘dirty fight’ when discussing money issues with your partner? Money has no power of its own. Surveys often show that couples fight over money more than anything else! Often the fight is not about money itself but other underlying issues. Money often gets the bill (blame) but the charge belongs elsewhere. A power imbalance and a lack of respect is often the cause. Yours, Mine, Ours Here are the top 8 money issues that couples fight about:

• Spender/Saver – couples that have different values about money
• Control
• Spendaholic
• Separate and joint bank accounts
• Secret spending habits
• Not discussing big purchases
• Kids
• Unequal incomes

Discussing money is part of navigating the relationship roadmap. Where are you on the map – Honeymoon or power struggle stage? The balance of your relationship will be determined by deposits to the Love Bank. Keep the balance high. Yours, mine and ours is a compulsory conversation. If you are struggling to have this conversation then make an appointment to talk to a therapist or book in for our intensive Relationship Recharge Program.

Frequent flyer

When one partner regularly works away from home extra pressure can be placed on the relationship. While the benefits of a fly in fly out (FILO) relationship can include both partners enjoying having their own space at times and the ability to follow their individual interests, a regular FIFO schedule may lead to feelings of loneliness, resentment, mistrust, and isolation. If these emotions arise and are not managed appropriately your loving relationship can become strained and tense. When there are children involved the pressures of FIFO relationships can be exasperated as children and parents adjust to the regular change of a single parent home to a two-parent home. FIFO relationships have the best chance of being successful when both partners have the communication skills so that any negative emotions that arise can be managed appropriately. You may know it’s time to improve your relationship when instead of looking forward to your partner returning home you are looking forward to them leaving, or while at home you wish you had stayed at work! Therapia offers a range of counselling services to assist time poor FIFO couples.

IVF

Making the decision to start a family is an exciting time. You will need to prepare for the change, challenges, and joy that come with having a baby. However, sometimes this excitement can be replaced by stress and anxiety if the couple has an inability to fall pregnant naturally. Approximately 1 in 6 couples have difficulty conceiving. This can be intensely emotional. Couples who seek support to fall pregnant via an IVF program often require additional support to ensure their relationship remains strong and happy. Each stage of an IVF program will produce different emotions for the individuals involved that can place strain on even the strongest relationship. Baby or no baby, at the conclusion of the program many couples will need to review what life now holds for them. Assistance and support is recommended when navigating the next step of the relationship roadmap journey. Therapia has a history of supporting clients who are currently undergoing an IVF program, and clients who have completed a program. Make an appointment today to talk to a therapist. We build better relationships piece by piece.

Relationship recharge

When your relationship first started things were great – the sparks were flying, laughter was constant, and you couldn’t wait to see each other. The stages of relationship change and most couples move from the Honeymoon stage into a period of Power Struggle. Often issues of employment, children, finances and health, to name a few, take up much more energy. Instead of investing your energy into maintaining your relationship you find yourself exhausted just dealing with life’s other challenges. When was the last time you shared an appreciation with your partner? Do you find yourself taking your partner for granted, or do you feel taken for granted. If you no longer feel ‘the spark’ in your relationship then it is time for a change. This does not mean your relationship has to end – it simply means your relationship needs a recharge! Contact us to make an appointment to discuss your issues.

Pre & post nuptial agreements

A Prenuptial is a financial agreement made before marriage. It is designed to protect the assets that each partner brought into the relationship in the case of separation and divorce. A Postnuptial agreement works in a similar way to a Prenuptial agreement except it is made after the wedding. Postnuptial agreements are commonly drawn up so that tensions in the relationship regarding finances, assets and children are resolved. Some couples find that making a Postnuptial agreement can promote harmony in the relationship as one or both partners feel more secure. Common reasons for seeking a Postnuptial agreement include if the financial status of either partner changes after the wedding or during a remarriage whereby one partner wants to secure the financial security of children to a previous relationship. For a Prenuptial or Postnuptial agreement to become legally binding both parties must have sought and received independent legal advice. Therapia can assist both partners to navigate the often challenging discussions that occur when determining the need for such agreements. Make an appointment today.

Marathon therapy

Research has shown that relationship counselling is most effective when delivered intensively from the beginning and then slowly phased out. Does your Relationship need a Recharge? Are you time poor? – Wondering what’s best Re-commit or Quit? Relationship Recharge might be the answer you’ve both been looking for. Many couples struggle to commit to a combined schedule of weekly counselling. Relationship Recharge involves attending 8-12 weekly sessions ranging in length from 2-3 hours session. Relationship Recharge has a preliminary phase whereby each person has the opportunity to identify issues they would like discussed. This is facilitated by each individual speaking with the therapist separately to ensure all issues are presented and addressed when the Relationship Recharge Program begins. This program is particularly beneficial to couples living interstate or couples whereby one person commutes regularly interstate/overseas. Relationship Recharge teaches tools to enhance communication, deepen intimacy, and resolve present and future conflict constructively. Participants of Relationship Recharge will require courage and resilience. Given the challenges and complexities often presented it is only facilitated by a Master Therapist and intake opportunities are limited Relationship Recharge is not suitable for Relationships impacted by verbal or physical abuse, and financial coercion.

Relationship therapy is a specialisation

Often people can become confused by the terms Psychologist and Relationship Therapist as they are sometimes used interchangeably. It is important to note that although there are many similarities between the professions not all Psychologists are Relationship Therapists, and not all Relationship Therapists are Psychologists. The minimum requirement for registration as a Psychologist is an approved four year degree in psychology followed by either a two year Masters program or two years supervised general practice. Specialisation within a chosen field of psychology requires further training and education. Psychologist deal primarily with individual psychological issues within a medical and psychoanalytical framework. If required Psychologists are trained to diagnose, and treat, mental health disorders. Relationship therapy is a specific field that requires specialised skills and knowledge. Relationship Therapists may hold a qualification from a range of fields including psychiatry, psychology, family therapy, social work, clinical sexology, and counselling. What makes Relationship Therapists unique is their specific post graduate training in couple counselling following their 4 or 6 year degree. Working with a couple to address issues that are often complex and confronting requires specialist skills and understanding. Therapists who specialise in relationship therapy view the relationship as a whole and individual issues are addressed within the context of the relationship. Therapia Relationship Therapists are highly skilled, have extensive training, and are engaged in utilising counselling methods and tools that are all supported in their effectiveness by current scientific research. Relationship Therapy is a complex field to navigate. Completing this journey with a practitioner who is specifically trained to manage the issues ensures your relationship roadmap is understood, well supported, and respected.

Self esteem

Self-esteem is basic to psychological health, achievement, personal happiness and positive relationships. Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the judgment we pass on ourselves. Nearly every psychological problem – from anxiety and depression to self-sabotage, fear of intimacy, to anger and pain – is traceable to low self-esteem. In the chaotic and competitive world we navigate today, both personal happiness and economic survival rest on how well we view self-esteem and nurture it in ourselves and in others. Years of compelling research has demonstrated that self-esteem is basic to psychological health, achievement, and positive relationships. Nothing is more challenging than to define, and live by, your values. And nothing is ultimately more rewarding. Are your relationships with loved one affected by poor self-esteem? Do you believe everyone else is getting a better deal in life than you? Do you have trouble expressing yourself and finding a clear direction in life? Sound self-esteem helps us to really relate. Make an appointment with a relationship therapist today.

Seperation & divorce

Too good to leave – too bad to stay. Make up or break up. Every third marriage in Australia now ends in divorce. What is the deal breaker for you? What do you need to be happy? You deserve the happiness you are searching for. Therapia has spent years developing a simple, but comprehensive, series of questions and guidelines that will help you see clearly once and for all. We bring an end to confused communication and assist you to decide whether to recommit or quit. For those couples who do decide to quit early intervention is paramount. Thousands of couples will never attend therapy, and for many it is too late when they do. If separation is the path for you, there is much to be discussed and navigating this part of the relationship roadmap requires respect and integrity. You entered your relationship with goodwill, it is important to exit in the same way.

Sexual concerns

One of the most common complaints during relationship therapy is that one partner would like more sex than the other. The ‘right’ amount of sex in a relationship is what works for the couple. For many couples negotiation is achieved and both partners are satisfied. However for some couples their sexual desire differences continue frustrate. Unresolved issues can lead to anger and frustration, which often impacts on the relationship overall. It is important to understand there is no “normal” desire level – every individual has a different sexual appetite. Couples who present to Therapia with unresolved sexual concerns are assisted with education and communication tools so that the issues can be discussed in an environment whereby the needs of both partners are addressed. Do you and your partner have mismatched sex drives? Do you want sex daily, does your partner want it once a month, or vice versa? Differing sex drives can lead even the most loving couples down a path paved with frustration, resentment, confusion and despair – a path that too often leads to separation and divorce. Does sex, or rather the lack of sex, present as the elephant in the room in your relationship? Is intimacy and sex the same thing? Do you dirty fight over reconciling domestic responsibilities Desire difference is a common relationship concern and neither partner should be blamed, nor should you compare yourselves to other couples. Sex is a sensitive subject. If you need help navigating this part of the relationship road map- book an appointment with a relationship therapist. If the sexual concerns in your relationship involve difficulties in having or enjoying sex please refer to Sexual Therapy.

Why am I alone?

Do you feel lousy and lonely? Are you asking why? The 12 months following a separation are often the most difficult. When the decision to separate was not yours day to day duties can become overwhelming and a feeling of helplessness can kick in. Therapia works with individuals who require additional support during or after a separation. Often individuals will grieve the end of a relationship similar to the grieving that occurs after the death of a loved one. While it is normal to grieve it is important to know that your feelings of sadness, hopelessness and despair will not last forever. Great personal growth can be achieved by working through these feelings and rebuilding your life. Whether you are experiencing feelings of rejection, worried about money, anger at your partner, fear about being alone, or overwhelmed by the responsibilities of single parenting, Therapia can support and assist you. Make an appointment to talk to an individual therapist.