Getting Divorced Feel disillusioned Don’t know What’s Next?

By Mardi Kaye on October 21, 2014

Your heart aches, grief and loss are an important part of your process, as is finding a way to move forward.

Divorce is a painful, messy process often it can leave both partners feeling like they have just experienced a death. And, in a way, they have experienced a big loss — the end of their marriage and a happy ever after is no longer possible. Saying good-bye to that dream and embracing a new, single lifestyle isn’t as easy as simply dividing up your assets and arranging joint custody. The matter can often be much more complex. Rebuilding after divorce takes bravery, strength, and a positive attitude. We hope these steps help you recharge, rebuild, and rewrite your future:

1. Seek Counselling

Some people wrongly believe that Relationship Counselling is a sign of failure or mental illness, but the truth is that we all need extra support sometimes. Relationship Counselling will give you a safe, secure place to work through your issues and find strength to plan your new life.

2. Let go of the guilt.

When it comes to divorce, we often hear the term “failed marriage,” and some people refer to individuals with multiple divorces as “two-time losers.” What a hurtful way to speak about anyone. You aren’t a loser or a failure just because you are going through a divorce. Let go of the guilt, and leave those shaming terms in the dust. Take heart in the fact you are a brave, strong, independent individual. You are rebuilding your life and doing something that some people are too scared to undergo.

3. Look inward

Relationship Counselling can help you to look inward, but even without counselling you can take a look at your own role in the divorce. Sometimes it’s hard to admit wrong doing or accept blame, but doing so can actually be quite empowering and keep you from making those same mistakes in your next relationship. What would you do differently? Are you able to recognise you’re a dirty fighter? Accept your responsibility in the marriage and the divorce, and then move forward with a clear, free heart.

4. Forgive

Remember “Resentment is toxic holds you back and definitely won’t help to heal a broken heart. If you are blocked by anger, rage, and resentment, you will never be able to let go of your pain and find happiness again. So, if you are having a hard time forgiving your partner, it often helps to take a deep breath and remind yourself that letting go of resentment will set you free . Reclaim your Power! Life moving forward is now all about you.

5. Rediscover yourself

There is a silver lining when it comes to divorce. It offers you the opportunity to create a new future and rediscover yourself. You can go back to school and get that degree you always dreamed of, you can take diving, begin speed dating, or you can flirt with that good looking guy who’s always at the coffee shop in the morning. There are lots of upsides to being free, the possibilities are endless. The next Chapter of life belongs to you – make it a great story! Good Luck.

Think you might need help moving forward?

Sometimes in life we get stuck

Become overwhelmed

Feel confused about our choices

And need an impartial opinion

Individual counselling and psychology can be useful.

A Psychologist can help you to gain insight into your thoughts, feelings and behaviour as well as provide you with strategies for coping with significant changes or transitions which are causing difficulties. Especially in times of stress when we all find it harder to see things clearly.

For further details or appointments contact Therapia on 8364-3811 or info@therapia.net.au